A day with our Father

I awake to the harsh noise of a car reversing with a blazing horn in my apartment. Rubbing my eyes open, I catapult out of bed accomplishing a sitting posture at the edge of a new beginning. I stretch my arms and my pupils slowly adapt to the faint light that fills the room from drawn curtains. I am awake. It is a new day!

I close my eyes in thanks and my father touches me on my shoulder as I murmur my morning prayer. I open my eyes to see him standing there with a smile and I know all is well. He offers me his hand and I rise gently to brush my teeth. Holding a cup of milk I lean on him and his big hands secure me with care. I sit down to a time of singing and looking at my father’s face I know he loves it. At times my mind wanders and then suddenly I awake to reality to see my father still there with a concerned look. I move on to a time of Bible reading and my father guides me as I try to understand the Word. Then I kneel for a time of prayer and I could feel my father’s comforting presence close besides me and I know he is listening to each word my mouth utters and my mind thinks.

Then I get up to think of the day’s needs and priorities and for a time I forget my father. I just ignore his presence and carry on, until its time to leave. Then I whisper, “Father?” and he is there by my side. He had never left me even when I had been busy with the preparation to take on the world’s routines. I smile and ask for his blessing as I ride my bike and he promises to look after me always. I ride the bike and I can feel his guiding spirit behind and before me holding my hands and stabilizing me across the potholed roads. I grumble and stop short of cursing the authorities as he smiles and directs my eyes to a handicapped little boy struggling to cross the same road but with a lovely smile on his face. I feel good and indeed blessed and I carry on. Soon speed thrills and the girls attired scantily make my eyes wander and the many cars that vroom past cause me to dream. I have reached my office. I switch on my computer and suddenly I realize what I had done and I feel bad and I search for my father desperately and say many a sorry and suddenly I see his face and his sad eyes. I know I have hurt him and I open my mind and mouth to justify but words fail before his innocent face. And I just sit back, open my bible and read a chapter and pray for his guidance though unworthy I am. With eyes still sad, he gently touches me and tells me to go on for he is there by my side at all times.

Soon the pressures of work takes over and after many a busy schedule I tell a few small lies, utter some angry comments, scream a few abuses, conjure some excuses until the mind’s lunch bell rings. The morning had indeed been a great success and I walk with head held high to pick my lunch box. My father is there, near my lunch box and as I look at him the smile vanishes from my “achievement” face. For I see the little boy who believed my lie, the secretary who thought I spoke the truth and my boss who trusted my words without a doubt. And I just avoid my father’s face. My hand reaches for the lunch box and as my fingers brush his, sad faces of all those who I have shouted at appear at me and I practically pull my lunch box free and as I rush away with eagerness, my father lovingly calls me by name and in the sound of his voice all my abuses and my powerful excuses melt away and I stop. Gently he puts his hand around my shoulder and leads me on. He does not speak anything while I gobble up my food forgetting even to say thanks. Full, I finally look at him and say a sorry again and then I am lost for words. He just smiles and holding my hands in his, he walks with me. I tell how I need him and how the devil had tempted me and he nods reassuringly, his hand never leaving me even for a minute. My mobile rings and I rush to answer a business call. In that meeting, I meet with great failure and all my hopes suddenly dash and coming out of the meeting, I feel so lonely and lost.

Sadness, worry, desperation all sweep forcefully into me and I tremble with fear and walk dejectedly until I call “Father, where are you?” And almost in shock I realize that he is carrying me on his broad shoulders for I have failed to carry myself. Setting me down on a park bench he offers me some water to quiet my rushing heart full of emotions. Compassionately he listens to my pains and rejections and faith he holds he close and opens my eyes to truths I have not seen and sweetly he comforts me and leads me on.

The day is over and I am back at home with the television and a delicious dinner. My eyes linger on sinful scenes longer and my mind plays some dangerous thoughts and I forget to say grace and then its time for bed.

As I say a swift prayer for safety and protection and get into a comfortable position to sleep the night away, my father whispers my name and I see him at my bedside with tears on his face.

How many times I have failed him, oh! How many times I have hurt him, oh! How many times I have wronged him, oh! How he had forgiven me all my wrongs even when it was very painful, oh! How he had held me in my time of sorrow and failure, oh! How I had still done wrongs and let myself be tempted. And I look at my father and I know he feels the pain and I say in a voice of great remorse “sorry”, for I feel like someone who is using him and his mercy and tears flow down my face. And in that moment I see a powerful transfiguration and I see my Lord Jesus hanging on the cross and on him I see all my sins, my everyday sins and I cry and suddenly a man comes and gives me some money and says, “good job, you have helped us to crucify him”. Stunned I blindly run and fall tumbling down into a great abyss and I cry “help me father” and then there is a great warm light surrounding me and I sit up in my bed. My father is patiently sitting there close beside me, his hand caressing my forehead gently with a passion, the passion of the one who gave his life for me.

And my father says he understands and shows me how my sins were all washed away and presents to me a new day and promises to be my strength in times of temptations, be my guide in time of decisions, be my word in times of conversations, be my comfort in times of difficulties, be my healer in times of pain, be my friend in times of need and be my father at all times in my walk with him, my Lord and Savior.

Holding my father’s pierced hand and smiling, I go back to sleep.

Tomorrow is another day, another walk with my father.

Did you walk with our Father today?

[This was written when I was a bachelor, but other than the fact that I am married and have a kid and work from home, and have overcome some of the bad behaviors of work and a few temptations – many still remain and in my walk, I still forget my Father – yet He patiently remains for He is my Father, my Creator, my Savior, my Redeemer and my Lord over all.]

My one desire, my only aim Lord is that I walk with you, worshipping you, communicating with you all the moments of my days as you walk by my side – through every moment in time. Amen

Sinner whom God loves
Ashley Chris

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